


Unkiss Me

by thatchoiboy



Category: iKON (Korea Band)
Genre: Angst, M/M, One Sided Love, Smut, all on hanbin's perspective, broken!binhwan, hanbin unconsciously hurts jinhwan, i am sorry for hurting u like this, jinhwan hurts hanbin, no happy ending, sad hanbin, they r both hurting each other :(, what happens next? idk
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-03
Updated: 2019-02-03
Packaged: 2019-10-21 07:15:19
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,111
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17638232
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thatchoiboy/pseuds/thatchoiboy
Summary: Hanbin knows that he and Jinhwan are falling apart.





	Unkiss Me

**Author's Note:**

> _Unkiss me_  
>  Untouch me  
> Untake this heart

Hanbin was lying sidewards on the bed, his back facing Jinhwan who was fast asleep. It just didn’t feel the same anymore, maybe the spark was no longer there. He didn’t feel the slight electricity buzzing inside him whenever Jinhwan kisses him. And it felt like Jinhwan didn’t also, or maybe he never did from the start. Or maybe it was just the paranoia getting the best of him. Hanbin was afraid.

 

If there was one thing Hanbin could change in the past, it would be the day he first met Jinhwan. He wished that he had never fallen head over heels for the man that changed his life forever. It’s because of Jinhwan why he’s feeling everything yet nothing at the same time. Without Jinhwan, he’s just half of a whole. Hanbin never wanted to feel this way.

 

It was painful. Hanbin clutched the blanket covering his naked body after a session with Jinhwan, it wasn’t the first time he felt this way. But god, _oh god_ , he loves Jinhwan so much and he just can’t let go. At least, not yet. The mere thought of Jinhwan leaving his side brought tears to his eyes. He _needs_ him. And God knows what he’ll do without Jinhwan. Maybe he just got used to his company, how _soft_ and _sweet_ Jinhwan was as if it was his nature. How he got him in a dazed, losing himself while staring at those little brown orbs that is filled with so much light that eventually pulled him out of the darkness.

 

Not able to bear the crippling anxiety and insomnia kicking in any longer, he got up and put on his clothes, opening the balcony to have a little smoke. Everything was getting a bit too much. He needed room to breathe. He chuckled slightly, Jinhwan was all he ever needed to breathe and now he’s suffocating from the thought of him. “Oh, how things have changed..” He breathed out, letting the smoke mingle in the air as he leaned against the railing. Hanbin thinks it’s quite tragic, where his position is. But he knows one thing for sure, it’s not in Jinhwan’s heart or with Jinhwan himself. Not at all.

 

Hanbin threw his cigarette away, re-entering their shared bedroom. He walks towards Jinhwan, looking at his peaceful face and his chest evenly breathe in and out. He brushes away a strand of hair covering Jinhwan’s face and tucked it behind his ear. His heart felt full and empty at the same time. “Don’t leave me..” He whispered and kissed his lover’s forehead before leaving the room again, grabbing bottles of beer from the fridge and seated himself on the couch. He gulped it down quickly, his senses going a bit unfocused after his fifth bottle. But he couldn’t help himself to stop. Maybe it’ll help subside the panging ache in his heart.

  


  
He passed out, apparently. The rays of the sun making his eyes open in pure annoyance. Hanbin groggily stood up, his back aching from having slept in an uncomfortable position last night. He looked around and yawned, navigating his way through the bedroom, expecting to see a still sleeping Jinhwan. But to his surprise, Jinhwan was all dressed up, his little eyes widening seeing he was awake. Was Jinhwan... leaving? His mind went blank.  _Jinhwan can’t leave me._

 

“Where are you going?” Hanbin shakily asked, feeling the anxiety creeping, his fist clenching out of instinct. He stared as Jinhwan fidget in his place. He was avoiding his gaze. Hanbin stormed in front him and forced him to lock his eyes with his. “Why aren’t you looking at me?” He inaudibly said, choking up tears, but it seemed like Jinhwan understood. Jinhwan brushed himself away from Hanbin’s hold. “I'm just going to hang out with some colleagues.” The older said, wiping the sweat from his forehead.  
  
  
Jinhwan was lying to him.  


Jinhwan walked passed by him, ready to leave but Hanbin grab ahold of his arm and yanked him back towards him, gripping the smaller’s arm tightly. “Hanbin, you’re hurting me.” He gritted out in pain. Hanbin wanted to laugh. Who was Jinhwan to tell him _he’s_ hurting him? It was mentally hilarious and Hanbin thinks he’s losing his mind. “You’re lying..” He whispered, “Why are you lying to me?!” He was enraged, not minding if Jinhwan flinched from the sudden rise in his voice, unconsciously clutching Jinhwan’s arm even tighter. “Tell me the fucking truth!”

 

Tears left Jinhwan’s eyes but Hanbin was blinded with fear and anger to see it. “Hanbin stop it!” He cried and Hanbin loosen his grip, the older jerking away and stared at Hanbin as if he was a stranger, soothing his arm that was once snow white and now blemished with purple bruises that Hanbin had caused. _What have I done?_ He observed Jinhwan who was heaving, breath uneven and his whole body trembling with fear. Jinhwan was afraid of _him_.

 

Hanbin audibly gulped and cautiously stepped forward, “Jinani..” He whispered, stopping when Jinhwan shook his head, more tears leaving his little eyes. “P-please, don’t come near me.” The older whimpered. “This isn’t like you, Hanbin.” Hanbin came nearer and engulfed the smaller in his embrace, mumbling apologies and sweet nothings into the skin beneath his ear and taking in all the soft punches Jinhwan sent towards him as his lover sob against his chest, wetting his shirt.  


_How long are you going to keep this up?_

  
Hanbin took hold of Jinhwan’s cheek and tilted his head up and kissed him deeply and passionately. He wonders if Jinhwan could feel his desperation as he slips his tongue inside the elder’s cavern, devouring his mouth with tears coming out from his eyes continuously. He guided Jinhwan onto the bed, gently laying him down without breaking the kiss. Hanbin felt Jinhwan pull away but he pulled him right back in, taking away his breath just like how he takes Hanbin’s away. Jinhwan moaned against his mouth and he swallowed all of them, sucking on the smaller’s tongue and smiled when Jinhwan let out a delirious whine. He broke the kiss after one last lick on the other’s lips. He took a glance of Jinhwan’s reddened cheeks, eyes staring at him with lust, his lips swollen and red from the bruising kiss.

 

His hands ripped Jinhwan’s clothes, diving into the crook of his lover’s neck and inhaling the calming scent. He nipped lightly at the soft skin before sucking harder, blemishing the pale skin with his marks. He felt Jinhwan grip his hair and tilted his head to the side to give him more access and Hanbin hummed in appreciation. He moved lower once Jinhwan’s neck was full of his love bites. His hands softly took hold Jinhwan’s ribs and caressed it with his thumbs soothingly, the older whining from the sensitivity. His mouth teased on the nub, licking around it before taking it into his mouth, giving a light suck that earned a sharp cry from Jinhwan. Hanbin left a trail of kisses from his chest to his belly button, feeling the elder shiver from the pleasure.

 

Hanbin averted his attention from Jinhwan’s chest towards the bruise he left on his arm. Examining the wound that was turning purple and pressed light kisses while whispering _I’m sorry_ and _I’ll never do it again_ against it, tearing up again from the thought of causing Jinhwan pain. He took off Jinhwan’s pants and boxers in one go, also removing his own clothes until they were both bare naked. So intimate that Hanbin swore he was going to have a mental breakdown in the middle of sex. Hanbin kissed Jinhwan again, plunging his tongue inside, surprising the elder. He slowly spread Jinhwan’s legs and inserted a finger inside his quivering hole, glad that he was still stretched from last night’s activity. The smaller softly jolted from the pain but soon melted into Hanbin’s kiss again. Hanbin squeezed in a second finger and curled it deep enough to hit the sensitive spot inside the older that had him arching his back into Hanbin’s chest, crying out into Hanbin’s mouth, a tear slipping out from sensitivity. Deeming he was ready, Hanbin pulled out, feeling Jinhwan whine against his lips.

 

He grinds his member against Jinhwan’s ass slowly, shoving his tongue into the other’s throat and then mingling his tongue with the other’s. Hanbin pulled away and chuckled softly when Jinhwan chased his lips. He slowly guided his cock inside the fluttering entrance that seemed to suck Hanbin in so desperately, groaning as his member is engulfed in the tight heat of Jinhwan’s warm insides. Jinhwan encircled his legs around Hanbin’s waist, making him go deeper. He slowly moved his hips, hovering over Jinhwan and nibbled on his earlobe before plunging his tongue inside the elder’s sensitive ear, causing Jinhwan to moan out loud and throw his head back as Hanbin’s cock lightly hit his prostate.

  
_Is this how you’re going to treat me?_  
  
_  
_“Hanbin-ah” Jinhwan choked out as Hanbin began to go faster. Hanbin felt Jinhwan’s nails scrape lines along his back and he felt his heart jump. It was as if Jinhwan was marking him. This time, it was Jinhwan who initiated the kiss, teasing Hanbin until he gave in and sucked Jinhwan’s bottom lip. He kept the same pace, thrusting into Jinhwan continuously without break, swallowing Jinhwan’s cries as he mercilessly tortured his prostate. He was positive that his back is bleeding from how hard Jinhwan dug his nails but it didn’t matter. Jinhwan could hurt him as many times as he wants as long as he stays with him. Because Hanbin has no plans of ever letting him go. Hell, Jinhwan could treat him like an animal, he could handle it. Only because it’s Jinhwan. Jinhwan has his heart, if he chooses to break it, then he is pleased to do so. It was fucked up, but it kept his sanity.

 

He feels Jinhwan shudder and let out a shaky breath when they pulled away from the kiss, “H-hanbin ah, I’m so close.” He whimpered and Hanbin inhumanely thrust faster, harder, and deeper until Jinhwan arches his back and screamed his name as he came. “I love you,” Hanbin whispered in his ear as Jinhwan clenches hard on his cock, soon coming hard inside of him. Jinhwan only locked eyes with him and breathed hard to catch his breath. Hanbin pulled out, his cum leaking out from Jinhwan’s hole unto the bed sheets and fell on top of Jinhwan gently, his chest heaving from exhaustion. He held Jinhwan, who passed out from exhaustion, in his arms, afraid that if he let go, he’ll disappear forever.

  
_Forever and ever, that’s how long I said I loved you. But you never said it back._

 

Hanbin buried his face into Jinhwan’s hair, feeling pathetic and muffled his painful cries. Jinhwan didn’t say it. He never does. He pats his chest, one, two, three. Trying to calm his nerves. Keeping it all buried inside that the minute something goes wrong, he’ll break.

 

Hanbin wishes that Jinhwan didn’t act like he was nothing, that he made him feel something besides the heartbreak that was now etched deep in his heart forever.

 

_Why can’t you care about me?_

 

They’re falling apart. Hanbin knows they are. Jinhwan doesn’t love him, maybe he never did. He wishes for Jinhwan to take all the kisses he gave to him that made him feel loved, though there wasn’t any love behind it. To give him back his heart that he took so carelessly and unconsciously tore it apart. That he never made him feel this way. He kept lying to his heart because he thought maybe one day, Jinhwan could finally reciprocate his feelings and not feed him empty promises. Hanbin wished he tried harder, then maybe they wouldn’t be stuck in this endless cycle of madness. But Hanbin admits that he’s a bit insane because he kept doing the same thing over and over again and expected something different to happen every time.

 

_This isn’t how it was supposed to end between us._

 

Hanbin knows, that the minute he wakes up later on, Jinhwan will be gone and never to be seen again. That he’ll leave a note of apology as an excuse and disappear from his life forever, leaving him in broken pieces that can never be fixed anymore. So for a little longer, Hanbin wants to stay awake, to be able to hold Jinhwan in his arms for the last time, just like this.

 

_I never even thought there was going to be an end between us._

  


**Author's Note:**

> comment your thoughts!  
> i hope you enjoyed reading :)


End file.
